Trvly a fun way to start the festive season this year with losing it all. I have never intended to hurt her. But im insecurities got the better of me, and i pushed her off the edge to a point of no return. Ive lost everything, and now no way to get it all back. I hold in my hands the carcass of the relationship, heart's empty and weak. I feel like puking and my head spinning just thinking about everything. There's no one here for me, nothing to keep me sane. I am crying inside but theres no way its showing on the outside. I cling on to the sliver of hope that thigns will work out in the future. But will the future ever be the same as before? Will anything ever be the same again? I only want to be happy, i never want to hurt her. Someone please help me find a way out. Ive lost my reason for motivation, my reason for being happy, my reason for being the best version that i am today. I want to move on, but will i ever be able to? Knowing her was an emotionla rollercoaster. Ple...
I've decided to write something here because I realised I've a fan! (yay!) Anyway, just a quick one before I go off for my 3rd repeat (i.e fourth time) for lesson 2 of my bike prac. It's weird because i could do the courses but still failed because apparently i was inconsistent for just one of them. It's weird having to repeat so many times but for some reason my instructors wouldn't pass me on the account they think im terrible at just one of the courses. Life sucks. Tmr's gonna be a special day! And this month too! So many celebrations, kinda hate the public places are gonna be crowded as hell but what to do. School's gonna start soon and i'm really hoping it'll be easy enough for me to cope. I've got some things in the back of my mind now but that's for another time. Did i tell you i was stuck in Sembawang because i rode my bicycle to the mosque there and it rained after prayers? Talk about luck. Oh well, enough chatter for now.
How is everyone doing? Feels like im always looking back at my past reminiscing the good times. If not, i wouldnt be back onto this platform typing something out. But alas i am here. But is it because the me now is just alone? Do i have no one to turn to because no one in my current life knows the real me? Where it seems will i find the people who truly knows me.. Everyday is a good day to lie. The light that shines casts a shadow on whats really on my mind. Theres already too many layers. To many to unravel the true me deep down. Its a long night...
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